Parenting + Cannabis

January 3, 2019

 

I had quite the morning today. I was jolted awake at 5:30am by the sound of my dog vomiting on my carpet (THE WORST). He then continued barfing in the hall, right outside my toddlers bedroom. COOL. She usually wakes up at 6 anyways, but most mornings I would do literally anything for an extra half hour of sleep. 

 

It’s still dark out, I finally finish cleaning up the puke mess. My daughter is playing in the living room so I attempt to go to the bathroom without my usual tag along. I have the door open just in case, and I see her walking past the hall with my full cup of coffee. I yell down the hall for her to place it down gently “JOLENE! DANGER, HOT! PUT IT DOWN!” something along these lines. Instead I hear a smash, she spilled it across the entire living room but luckily not on herself. 

 

It’s STILL dark out and I’m now mopping. It’s not even 6:30am yet. I feel tears welling up as I clean, I’m so tired. My husbands been deployed for 1.5 months and we have another month to go. The days are SO long when you’re parenting a toddler solo. I wish I had more patience, but the truth is, I get angry and resentful in these moments. I’m mad at my dog, mad at my husband for not being here, mad at Jolene for spilling although I know I shouldn’t be. My body feels so tense, and I know in that instance what I need to do. I go to the garage to take ONE hit from my bong. 

 

That’s right, I smoked some weed at 6:30am. But that one hit completely changed my perception of what was happening. I felt my body relax and immediately went inside to apologize to my dog and to Jojo. I gave them both kisses and my heart felt so full of gratitude. My dog is actually SUCH A GOOD BOY, he’s an ex cop dog and is super obedient. In his defense, he actually did try to warn me moments before he puked by licking my hand to wake me. My daughter is the sweetest little girl, and gave me her best squeeze hug. I could have allowed this totally awful morning set the stage for the rest of my day, but having just a little bit of cannabis allowed me to rewrite that narrative to something positive. 

 

So yes, I use cannabis as a parenting tool at times. I prefer to microdose to avoid feeling “high”, I inhale just enough for the cloud of stress to lift off of my shoulders so I can be more present. Instead of focusing on how much cleaning I need to do around the house, cannabis allows me to enjoy sitting and playing with my daughter. Watching in awe as she learns something new. 

 

I don’t recommend cannabis as a parenting strategy for everyone, but if you are an “experienced” cannabis consumer and can predict how you will feel after a hit or two, why not?? For me, cannabis can make or break how my day goes sometimes. And that’s OKAY! It doesn’t make me a bad parent, it makes me a better parent in these hard moments.

 

xo Jenna